If you are a woman who wants a lasting relationship, you should never enter a relationship without first thinking things through.
I dated different men for 4 years and I never even once gave a second date to any of them except to my boyfriend now (update: we’re married!). Besides the fact that it’s a total waste of time and energy, I wouldn’t want to hurt and use someone just because I’m bored, and he’s willing to entertain me. I believe that the reason why so many relationships never work is because, they just rely on their feelings at the moment, and disregard the long-term stuff to be considered.
Whenever I go out on a date with someone, here are the questions that I ask myself:
1. Is my love tank full?
This is always the first thing that would come to mind. I don’t want to love someone just because I needed love from him to fill me up. I want to be whole and I want him not to feel obligated to love me. I want him to feel that he wants to love me because he sees something in me. I want him to feel that I can live without him, but he knows that I chose to be with him because I love him for who he is and not what he is able to give. I want him to feel that I don’t need anything from him, just his companionship and a hand to hold. If your love tank is empty, DO NOT commit.
2. Will he add more to my life?
I believe that I am a worthy woman (every women should think so too). I have dreams to fulfill and I know that I can only do that if I am with a person who will not be a hindrance, and also, someone who I could learn a lot from and can support me for whatever decisions I make (as long as they’re great ones). I don’t want to be with someone who has issues with himself and irresponsible enough to handle them in his own. I want someone confident, decisive, strong and committed. I want someone who has dreams and aspirations. I don’t want someone weaker than I am, who cannot handle me. I want someone equal.
3. Is he the kind of man that I want to be with?
Before getting into a relationship, think about what you want in a partner. Much better if you have a checklist. I had a checklist. I want a responsible, smart, sweet, kind, gentleman, mature, funny and consistent man. Guess what? I found him and he’s sooo madly in love with me!
4. Do we complement each other?
Does he provide something that I lack and vice versa? Do we handle things the right way? Are we able to have a mutual understanding with some things? Indeed, men are from Mars and women are from Venus, and misunderstandings are inevitable, but, is he a kind of person I could reason and compromise with? If you think he’s the kind of man who will be easy to deal with, go enter.
5. Am I happy with my life right now?
If yes, good you’re ready. If not, start choosing a life of happiness. Read through my blog to reach that state.
6. What do I feel after being with him?
Did I feel better about myself? Did he make me laugh? Did I enjoy his company? If yes then great. Am I uncomfortable? Is he pushy? Is he bothering me? Any yes to the negative questions means you should stop dating him.
7. Is he sincere or does he have an agenda?
This issue is not new to this day and age. Some men have hidden dark plans so be careful! There are assholes everywhere whose only goal is to sleep with women. A lily is not stupid. She knows when someone is a wolf under a sheep costume. The only way to figure that out is to make him wait and observe him secretly.
You’ll know that he’s the guy that you want to be with if everything feels right. No hindrances and games are being played, and if ever there are roadblocks, he is the one who’ll solve it. You deserve the best.