Overly-attached girlfriends in the house! Make some noooooise!! This post is for you. LOL
Have you ever felt so in love with your man that you can’t ACTUALLY breathe at times and you started setting higher expectations from your relationship? Because you love him more, you tend to give more of yourself and you expect that he’ll do the same, when in most cases, the ending is he wouldn’t? I did. And I don’t like it when that happens.
Did you know that most relationships end because of the thing I call “relationship burn out”? It’s when one of the two would suck all the energy out of the other and things would start to fall apart, and everything magical will one day turn out ugly. Have you experienced this before? Was the guy the one who lost control over himself? Or was it you?
Here are the signs that you’re losing control over yourself:
- You call him more than he calls you. You question why he’s not calling you more often and you are pissed about it. You even sometimes get emotional because of it.
- You get really upset just because he cancels a date with you because of WORK or some important stuff that came unexpectedly. You get paranoid that he may be seeing other women or just making excuses not to see you.
- You overthink everything. He’s always on your mind.
- He wants to spend some time with his friends but you’re too attached that you didn’t want him to leave your side. You prevent him from doing things he love because it makes YOU uncomfortable and insecure. You may even get paranoid because he might meet other gorgeous women and the thought just makes you crazy.
- You want to spend all of your free time with him, and you also expect that he spends all of his with you.
I learned that being successful in life is all about self-control and mastering yourself. You stick to a diet and exercise to stay in shape and be healthy. You try spending less, save and invest more to achieve financial freedom. You wake up early and go to work to be able to excel in your career. These things require a lot of self-discipline, and success in our romantic relationships is not an exception. Here are ways to handle your overflowing emotions for bae:
- Take deep breaths. When you feel that you’re about to burst and you feel like you’re about to nag, or cry, or turn into a psycho girlfriend, tell yourself to pause. Calming down is the first thing you want to do and you do this by being aware of how needy and clingy you are. Then follow that with long deep breaths.
- Take long walks. Going out and seeing something different will take your heart off your irrational emotions. It will also make you think before uttering things that you might regret later. Words can’t ever be taken back. Remember that!
- Change your mindset. Think about this. He didn’t spend less time with you. You just expected more from him because the relationship is getting deeper. Expectation kills reality my dear. Just because the relationship is evolving doesn’t mean you two are one now. You are not. Healthy couples know that each individuals must not lose themselves in the relationship. 2 can become 1, and 2 can become 2. Think: I have a lot to discover about life on my own and I’m excited about this!
- Work on a project. It could be as small as writing your own comedy script for fun to starting your own business. Life is worth living. Life is limitless and there are a lot of opportunities around you. Pursue your passion. This will not only keep him out of your head but it will also make you more attractive to him. A passionate partner is the sexiest. Plus, it’s fun doing things and challenging yourself to be creative.
- Spend more time with the girls. Revolving your life around your man will get you stuck. Your friends are the best people in the world. You should never ever take them for granted. We all have that one friend that goes MIA the moment she had a boyfriend. Don’t be like her. Don’t be one-sided. Don’t only be there when YOU need them. Be there if they need you. Have some fun with your loves! These girls deserve your attention too.
- Affirm it. Remind yourself that you are the best woman he can ever have. Say “I am an independent woman. I am happy with myself. I am secure with our relationship and I am happy to give (name of your partner) more time for himself. His happiness is my happiness. Growing together while also growing apart makes our relationship healthy and special. He is very much in love with me and I trust him.” Repeat this 10000x or until it sinks in your mind. Make it stick to your soul.
- Travel. This is the best one here. Traveling is so fun, that you actually forget your life from where you live for a while. It’s so refreshing and it makes you grow as a person. It’s not only healthy for your relationship with your guy but also with yourself. The relationship with yourself is the most important relationship that you will have.
- Laugh and joke around. Bring back the light. Laughing at something reminds you that there is something more to life than your man. Humor is what you need to loosen up. Watch funny series. Hangout with your funniest friends.
- Visit family. If unconditional love’s all you need right now, your family is the one who can give it to you. You need to see those cute little baby niece and nephews!
- Pray. Pray to God to give you peace. Ask him for understanding and strength, and for you to be more patient and loving. God always provides.
Always remember that love is different from need. Never get confused with those two or you’ll end up screwing things up. That’s the worst thing ever.