A lot of us think that whenever we do something and failed at it, or we did something that other people disliked, it’s somewhat our fault. We think we aren’t good enough. When people would say something bad about our craft online, it’s a hard punch in our stomach. When our client told us that she disliked our work so she didn’t wanna avail our services, we think that she hated us and we suck. When we failed that job interview, we thought we’re not good in anything and we suck. When the guy we want didn’t want us back, we obsessed thinking about what’s wrong with us. We spend our time in a pool of negative thoughts and self-doubts, draining our confidence.
While there are possibilities that what we’re thinking might be true, most of the time, it isn’t really the case. Sometimes, rejections happen not because we aren’t good enough, but for many reasons outside us. Maybe the universe is stopping us from going towards the wrong path. Especially when we did every effort to get something, but we weren’t able to have it, because it wasn’t really meant for us in the first place. And most of the time, people treat us how they treat themselves. If they give hate, it just means that they are filled with hate. It’s not you. It’s them. And also, maybe you’re the kind of person who loves taking a lot of actions. More actions means more chances of failure, but keep in mind, that this also means you have more chances of success. Action people fail a lot, because they try a lot. Keep this in mind.
Some people don’t like us not because we’re not interesting or anything, but simply because they were never meant to be part of our lives. We may not be on the same level of energy and interests. We sometimes hangout with the wrong people, and we don’t realize it. We try to push some relationships to work but they have always been bound to fall.
Among the billions of people in this world, there are different kinds. You don’t need every kind to like you. There’s no such thing. Just look for your kind of people, and stick with them. Embrace your own. Whenever you feel unwelcomed, you might just be in the wrong crowd. Never think that you are inadequate. There are people who will love you wholeheartedly, just search.
Once, I met a guy I “sort of” dated. We were going out for almost 2 years, but for some reason, we never ended up together. I really liked him. I thought to myself, maybe he didn’t really like me. Maybe I’m not good enough for him. Or maybe he didn’t feel a connection. I found out otherwise. His best friend told me that he really liked me but he has his issues why he wouldn’t push through the courtship. I decided to stop the unlabeled relationship because I don’t want to waste any more of my time waiting for something that might never happen. Out of nowhere, a guy came into my life, the day I decided to not see the other guy again. It was unplanned, and came at the right timing. This guy is amazing. We just clicked. We never have to try too hard. It was smooth. He loves making me smile and making me feel special. He’s funny, smart and we have so much fun. He makes me feel like I’m the most beautiful girl in the world. Then suddenly, I realized that what I had with the other guy was not something meant to be, because I had to be with the perfect guy for me. I realized it was not me who’s inadequate, and neither was he. We were just never meant to be. We’re two different kinds of people who are just attracted to each other. After 4 years, the funny and charming guy is now my husband. <3
I have a lot, and I mean A LOT of stories of rejection in my life, that suddenly I started getting used to it and started thinking of it as the universe’s way to weed out the stuff that I don’t need in my life. I realized, I have many rejections simply because I always try to make things happen, not because I suck. Because in every rejection, there is progress and success. I always do things to get my dreams, and rejections and failure makes the prize even more rewarding once I get it. You cannot enjoy happiness that much if you never experienced suffering at some point. Do not fear rejection. Embrace it.
More rejections will keep on happening to us, as long as we keep exploring new terrains towards achieving our goals. Rejections are good. Rejections make us narrow down the choices to the things that are meant for us. It eliminates the way that isn’t going to bring us any good. And rejections makes us stronger. Rejections, if handled well, will teach us a lot of things about ourselves.
Rejections shake us, making us ask the question of how much we really want what we’re going after. Do we want it no matter what? Or do we stop pushing it because it wouldn’t be worth it?