We’ve all been there. Our brains are attacking us for some reason we can’t figure out. Nothing feels right anymore. Nothing that is happening is something we want. We feel sooo lost in abyss. We’re in pure hell. I’ve been there. It wasn’t easy, but I’m happy to tell you that I got out from it, and you can too!
So how can you survive? Try these 6 ways:
- Allow yourself to be sad. There is nothing wrong to feel your feelings. Cry. Swear. Drink. Smoke. Shout. But do this minimally. Only for a very short period of time. Maximum of 3 days. Then after that, move forward. Do not let yourself numb your pain through unhealthy ways. DO NOT SELF-DESTRUCT. Because if you do, you are actually escaping away from it. There’s a reason for all of this happening to us. This would teach us something. If you escape away from it by drinking, smoking, taking drugs, excessive sex or anything pleasurable but destructive, you are not solving the problem. You are only making it worse. Allow yourself to feel your pain, sadness and madness, because the feeling will pass. How? You will use your brain. You think about the problem and how to solve it. That’s when you will learn something, and the real and ONLY way to get out of whatever it is you’re going through. Maybe you have to change something about yourself. Remember that quote from Viktor Frankl: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Take a step in changing what you can about you, to change your situation.
- Breathe. The simplest but most effective thing you can do. We overlook what wonders this could do to us. Breathing clears our minds, slows down our impulse. 4 seconds inhaling and 4 seconds exhaling for 5 minutes could help you calm your nerves.
- Wander. I never stayed home because my room is the epitome of a way to successfully mess my brain up. I need trees, rocks and roads to keep me sane. I go to malls, restos, parties, mountains, wherever it is that I can experience something new. Remember, when we experience something new, we get out of our head. It’s all about the refreshing moment, and nothing else.
- Disconnect. The social media is causing damage to us more than we know. The reason why we are going mad is because of overthinking. Becoming connected most of the time in our days makes us so reactive, making us out of control. Imagine if we are living without any distractions and just plain ignorant of things, it’s actually blissful. I’ll explain more on disconnecting and why it’s so important on the next post.
- Create a best friend. Remember Wilson from the movie Castaway? He was a volley ball. He was Chuck’s friend through thick and thin. Before, I used to have a best friend. His name is Margarito. He was a rock. I drew eyes, eyebrows, nose and lips so he would look like a person smiling at me saying “I’m here for you friend. Everything will be alright.” Because of Margarito, I didn’t feel alone, because, frankly, I remember him answering. Not through words but through events. I remember asking him for a favor when I and my best friend Ynna sold clothes in front on their house. I told him “Margarito, can you please make sure we sell these clothes today?” After a few moments, someone will buy from us. He’s like a really reliable friend. You will look crazy indeed, contrary to the article’s main goal, but really, this will keep you sane.
- Use some attention from people willing to give it. If you have someone who pursues you, there is nothing wrong with entertaining them. But make sure you made it clear for them, if you don’t have any intentions of pushing through the next level. Some guys will be cool to just stay friends. I remember I have a friend who gave me too much attention and would ask me to hang out. I didn’t put any meaning to his actions, because Lilies are not assuming of anything unless it is said and proven. I would go with him and we would explore new places. Then I was surprised when he started giving gifts to my family. I asked him, “Are you hitting on me?” He said yes and was surprised I didn’t know. I told him in a joking way, “Woah dude. We’re bros!” He just laughed and told me, that’s alright. “You cool with that?” I said. He said yes. I know that, I friendzoned him and I might have hurt his feelings, but hey, we’re mature adults, and he understands that there are two possibilities once he took the risk – I either like him or not. It turned out I don’t and he’s okay with that. We remained really great friends until now, and he is happily taken. You’ll meet guys like that who’d be happy to stay friends even after turning them down. You’ll both benefit from it because people need attention, and you’re both giving it to each other.
- Engage in charity work. Seeing people who are less fortunate will make you realize how blessed you are. And the fact that you can contribute to some people’s lives will make you feel you mattered. It a win-win situation for both the giver and the receiver.
It wasn’t easy, but it’s doable. Just have faith. Everything happens for a reason, and that reason you will learn once you face it. DO NOT ESCAPE FROM IT. LEARN FROM IT. Because these things, once you solve it, it will make you into a better and happier human being.
Photo from Danoah