If we’re friends in real life, you’ll know that I used to be a super fun and care-free person who one day became the most depressing lady ever somewhere in 2011. (Life is unpredictable, isn’t it?) But luckily, I was able to regain myself and so much more sometime in 2013 and since then, I became more mindful of my emotional and mental stability.
I was completely unhappy when everything that I had was taken from me. Quite reasonable to be one, right? But still not enough excuse to ruin the rest of my life because I know that I have the ability to change things.
Most of us are unhappy because we do a lot of things that are causing us to be one. Here are some of the things that steal our happiness:
- Overthinking. Overthinking is just a painful reminder that we care way too much, even when we shouldn’t. Have you ever obsessed about something someone has said about you? You think this as a big deal, but in real life, it really isn’t. Let me tell you the truth – most people don’t really care much about other people, and 90% of the things that you are worrying about will never happen. Other people care about themselves. They weren’t judging you, and if they were, they’ll just do it for a moment and forget about it. They are busy thinking about what they will eat later, what they want to do after work, what movies they will watch over the weekend. Just like us. We don’t really obsess on hating someone right? And that problem you are worrying about? Just let it go. It won’t happen. And if it does, what’s the worst that could happen? What you can do whenever you catch yourself overthinking is to distract yourself. Start caring less. Think about more important things. Do things that gets you off your head. Play with your dog. Dance in the mirror. I sing to distract myself. Singing makes me enter another realm.
- Discontent. The fact that you are reading this post makes me think that you have a smart phone or a computer. That’s enough information for me to know that you have a lot. Most people today always take the little things for granted. I once had lost it all, and that’s only the time that I realize how abundant my life was. If you can’t be happy with little, you can never be happy with more, I guarantee. Your threshold for your wants will also adjust to how much you have, and you can never be pleased. Say thanks to everything you have now. Say thanks to that yummy coffee you had. Say thanks to that friend who helped you out. Say thanks for eating something healthy today. Say thanks for your new cute notebook. Say thanks to the problem that you are facing right now, because if not for it, you will not learn new things about yourself and you will not grow as a person. You have everything to be thankful for.
- Negative media. If you have been intaking information that are too stressful and negative, you have got to stop. I used to like reading the comments section of facebook of politics posts, but I realized it was too heavy for my life. People are mean and full of hate, and that’s not what I want my brain to be receiving. Your brain deserves nutritious information. Don’t feed it garbage or you’ll end up producing garbage. Instead of using social media, why not browse on Pinterest more? Instead of watching TV, why not read a funny book? There are a lot of vlogs and videos on Youtube that are inspiring. You could watch that. Just pick the media that will put you in a better mood and will help you grow.
- Expectations. There’s nothing wrong with expectations. It is the attachment from our expectations that is dangerous. We expect things because we want to control what must happen. Instead of expecting, just hope. Hoping is expecting, but with greater acceptance of what will be.
- Being with the wrong people. This is one of the worst things that you could do. This is worse than negative media, because these people pass their energy to you. But first, who are the wrong people? The wrong people are those who make you feel bad. They are the ones who suck out all of your energy. They are the people who has different views about where you want to be. It is dangerous that you are friends with these people, but it is much more dangerous if you are in a relationship with one. Start re-assessing your life. Who are the people in your life? Do they value you the way you value them? Do they contribute to your growth? If not, keep friends with them, but don’t spend so much time with them, or you will lose yourself and your purpose.
- Jealousy. It is not uncommon to be jealous of someone, especially these days. People tend to post or rather “brag” on social media. The worst thing that you can do though is believe all of their posts and be jealous. Don’t focus on other people’s accomplishments. First of all, you don’t know what they did to work hard for that. Second of all, their success is not important. Your success is what is. This is your life. Focus on you. Don’t have a scarcity mindset. Be generous and let others be happy. Be confident. The world is abundant. You’ll have yours, at your own time. Just trust in the process, and be happy for other people’s achievements. If you did, you will realize that you are as abundant as them just for doing so. Abundance is energy, not money, accomplishments or any other things people call “success”.
- Mishandling failure. Taking risks has two outcomes, either succeeding or failing. Most of the time, it’s failure that is the result but failing doesn’t mean that you are a failure. Failing simply means that you are doing something wrong, and you have to figure out how to do it right. You should never doubt yourself just because we failed. Be more proud, because failing means that you are trying more. People who fail less, try less. You are bold for trying.
- Not laughing enough. Life is short. Have fun. Look at things in a lighter perspective. When someone say mean things about you. Don’t be too affected. Have a good laugh. Goof around. Don’t take your playfulness away.
- Complaining. Things won’t always go our way, but that doesn’t mean that we have the excuse to complain. Things will not always work out, and so instead of getting into the habit of complaining, cultivate a habit of accepting things and being creative when things don’t work as planned. Always look at the bright side of everything.
- Blaming. Whenever we blame someone, we actually give the person we are blaming the power over our lives. Do you really want to give someone that much hold of your life? We are only powerless if we allow ourselves to be. Stop blaming and start taking 100% responsibility of your life.
- Making other people feel bad. Some people don’t know that they are being mean to someone. Little did they know that they are spreading negative energy by hurting someone. People should be more careful with their words. Kindness is an underrated act nowadays. Be kind. The more kindness you spread, the more positivity will bounce back to you.
- Looking at other people too much. Successful people never worry about what other people are doing. They are busy working their asses off to success. Don’t compare your life to other people. You don’t know what they were going through. You only see a certain percentage of their whole life, not everything. Focus on yourself. Focus on the things you need to improve on. The only person that you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. Make her proud.
- Not clinging to God. God is my best friend. The moment I made him my best friend, my life started to change. He makes everything feel better. He makes me love myself more. He makes me believe that I don’t need anyone, but him. He shows me the right path of my journey. He never left me, and he makes me feel strong.
Everybody deserves happiness, and it is in your hands to make yourself in that state. You have all the power to do so. You just have to change certain habits and ways to be able to do that. I pray for your journey, dear!